Effective leaders are
comfortable with paradox. They can call on skills and work in ways that
seem to be contradictory.
Dictionary.com defines
paradox as “a seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be
true.” As I study the field, I find many paradoxes associated with
leadership. I see that developing the skills of a great leader requires us
to work in apparently contradictory ways that are nonetheless true.
I often see my clients and
seminar participants wrestle with these issues because they present
themselves as extreme and contradictory positions. Many people struggle
because they view the paradoxical extremes as either/or positions rather
than both/and positions.
One dilemma many people have
difficulty confronting is, what I call, the Compassion Paradox – As a
leader, you must be compassionate AND you must hold people accountable.
Sometimes I say it this way: You cannot be too soft if you want to be
compassionate. Let me explain.
Depending on their
personality style and personal experience, most people fall more on one side
or the other of these two extremes. They are great at holding people
accountable, but not so great at showing compassion. Or, they are great at
showing compassion, but not so great at holding people accountable.
Learning to work both ends of this divide is one key to becoming an
effective leader.
We normally fail to
appropriately apply this principle because we do not really understand the
two extremes. People who are comfortable with accountability view
compassion as too “soft”. And, people who are comfortable with compassion
view accountability as too “hard”. The truth is that neither extreme is
either “soft” or “hard”. They are simply different responses to different
leadership situations.
Let’s consider the
definitions of these two responses:
Compassion - deep awareness
of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it.
Accountability – the
condition of being called to account; answerable.
As leaders, we must be aware
of people’s needs and work to meet them – i.e. we must be compassionate. We
must also hold people accountable. If we fail to hold people accountable,
the organization fails. If we do not address concerns, people work at bare
minimum levels or they leave. Again, the organization fails.
Some people are comfortable
with this paradox. I find that most are not. My personal challenge is this
- I fall more on the compassion side than on the accountability side. With
conscious effort, I have improved my ability to hold people accountable. It
is still not natural or comfortable for me. I realize, though, that it is
necessary.
Whatever your bent, I
encourage you to look at your behaviors as a leader. Are you more
comfortable with compassion or with accountability? Either way, work to
develop comfort with the other. When you can choose your response based on
the situation, rather than your personal comfort, you will be skilled at
applying the Compassion Paradox. You will be one step closer to acting as a
highly effective leader.
Copyright 2005, Guy Harris
You may use this article for electronic distribution if you
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Notification of use is not required, but I would appreciate it. Please
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